Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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