She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
