this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
