My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
