My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize