im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
