its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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