my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
