Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
