What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
false alarm, still single
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
