he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
