i would punch a child for taco bell
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
