Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
