There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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