you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
