Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
