No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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