you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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