he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
