Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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