Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize