Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
