I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
