Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize