there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
