Screwed.edu
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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