there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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