brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize