I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
