and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
