I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
