New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
