"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
