Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize