I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
