Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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