Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
