this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
