what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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