I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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