She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
