Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
