So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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