I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
