I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
