My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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