Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
