You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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