where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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