At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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