Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
