If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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