He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
