Me too!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
