I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
