Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
