were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
