The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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