this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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