it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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