the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
