drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize