god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
