just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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